


If I Didn’t Have You (Someone Else Would Surely Do)

by lizzieonawhim



Series: A Tangential Narrative [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Trope Subversion, ambiguous ending, hanahaki's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 17:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzieonawhim/pseuds/lizzieonawhim
Summary: “But with all my heart and all my mind, I know one thing is trueI have just one life and just one love and, my love, that love is you”Keith and Lance always assumed they were soulmates... right up until Keith came down with Hanahaki's.





	If I Didn’t Have You (Someone Else Would Surely Do)

**Author's Note:**

> I actually strongly dislike the Hanahaki's trope and never meant to spend enough time thinking about it to write a fic, but then this took root (ha ha) in my brain and I couldn’t shake it so here you go. The whole soulmate concept is sort of disturbing to me because it takes away people's freedom of choice, and when you add in Hanahaki's as some kind of weird cosmic punishment for not falling in love the way the universe wants you to... yeah.
> 
> The title and summary quote are both from Tim Minchin's "If I Didn't Have You," better known in some circles as the Statistically Accurate Love Song, which you guys should definitely check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeZMIgheZro

It was late at night before Lance finally worked up the courage to sneak into Keith’s hospital room. Shadows fell in blocks and strips across the white sheets of the bed, which glowed softly in the light of the moon streaming through the window. Outside the room, footsteps and soft murmurs marked the passing of various hospital staff; within, there was no sound but the beeping of the heart monitor. The air smelled of antiseptic, sharp and strong, but Lance ignored it. All his attention was for Keith’s sleeping form: his tangled black hair, his pale, drawn face, and -- crucially -- the gentle rise and fall of his chest under the covers as he breathed. Keith’s brows were furrowed, his mouth pulled down at the corners. Lance recognized the signs: he was having a bad dream. Made sense, Lance reflected with a pang. His heart was broken.

It had been a terrible shock when Keith had collapsed, coughing up bloodred petals in the hallway of their apartment building. Lance had heard of Hanahaki’s; it was supposed to be incredibly rare. Little was known on the subject of soulmates, only that they existed, and every pair was matched a different way. Some shared birthmarks, some had mysterious songs that only they knew, some even shared thoughts and feelings, which honestly sounded horribly invasive to Lance. Sometimes it could be incredibly difficult to tell whether or not someone was your soulmate. The world was full of stories of people who met someone early on and thought that person was the one, only to find out later in life that they were wrong when their real soulmate showed up out of the blue. Someone with a birthmark that looked a bit like someone else’s found a perfect match years later, that kind of thing.

Lance and Keith had never figured out what their matcher was. Neither of them had any outstanding birthmarks; they didn’t know any songs nobody else knew, they didn’t find themselves drawing the same symbol over and over again even though no one else had ever seen it before and nobody knew what it was. Still, Lance had always just kind of assumed they were soulmates. He couldn’t imagine feeling so in sync with anyone else, not with the way Keith often knew what he was about to say before he even said it, the way Lance knew when Keith needed a hug by the set of his shoulders. They’d been that way from the moment they met, whether either of them had wanted to admit it then or not. They knew each other the way soulmates knew each other. It had seemed so obvious.

But clearly, Lance had been wrong. If they were soulmates, Keith wouldn’t have Hanahaki’s.

No one had any idea of the origin of Hanahaki’s; it seemed to be as old as the human race itself. Everyone knew, without knowing how they knew, that it only happened in cases in which the sufferer had experienced rejection by their soulmate. It didn’t always happen, which was part of what made it so difficult to study. No one could figure out exactly what the deciding factor was, though of course theories abounded. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Keith had Hanahaki’s, which meant that not only were they not soulmates, but Keith was going to die and there was nothing Lance could do about it.

“It’s not fair,” Lance whispered. “Some -- some asshole who doesn’t know how good he’s got it gets to decide if you live or die, and meanwhile I can’t -- I--” Lance sniffed loudly and wiped the back of his hand across his nose. He was quiet for a while, watching Keith breathe: in and out, in and out, weak but steady. “I wish you’d tell me who it is,” he said finally. “If I could just get them to see what I see… I mean, they’re your soulmate, right? They’d get it. They’d have to.” His next breath hitched in his throat. “And I -- I know I’d still lose you, but at least you’d be alive. You’d be okay, you’d be happy--” His vision blurred. “It’s -- it’s not fair. It’s not -- _I_ love you. Shouldn’t that be enough?” And with that, Lance surrendered to the waves of anguish and cried, shoulders shaking, fat tears dribbling down his cheeks and off the end of his nose. One hand worked its way into Keith’s and brought it up to Lance’s mouth; he kissed it, a long, desperate press of lips that lingered as he clung and wept.

“Please,” he choked out, over and over again. “Please, please, please…” Nothing answered but the heart monitor, steady and impassive. As the hours passed, the scene seemed frozen in time but for that incessant beeping, second by second, marching the lovers into the night.


End file.
